Four-Leaf Clovers

I started collecting these at the grand age of 14 when my dad's friend gave my mom a four-leaf clover that he had plucked from our property; apparently, the guy found them all the time. If it was so easy that an alcoholic Hungarian could do it while seeing double, I decided that I, too, must be able to accomplish the same feat. After a few days of laying in the grass I had trained my eyes to find the fours among the threes, and I am happy to say that my luck has been better ever since: fifty-one clovers worth, to be exact.

To be precise, I actually have only 48 four-leaf clovers, but also three five-leaf ones. PLUS, I have given away three in my lifetime to deserving friends, bringing the total found by my keen eyes to 54. I also own one on a little pocket calendar that my friend brought me from Germany... so technically I have 52 lucky clovers in my possession (assuming a five-leaf clover is also lucky), 51 of which I have found. Plus, they hail from all over the world! Sort of. I found most of them in BC and one in Germany this September... and some are from Ontario, wahooey.


So, one day I found this book entitled "Garden Magic" at a local Russian church bazaar. I bought it because I enjoyed the detailed illustrations inside, but after flipping through and finding a FOUR-LEAF CLOVER INSIDE (!) under Hedges (and I LOVE hedges!), I saw it as a sign to keep my collection tightly locked between its loose pages. I guess that means I have 53 clovers in total now. Sheesh.

I'm also quite surprised that I haven't fucked up all this math, as I just discovered I can drink whiskey again without getting sick, just in time for the loneliest holidays of my pathetically boring life. Damn I'm a lucky bastard! Oh wait, I'm not; I merely bought the 375ml bottle, fuck.